Eric...

September 10, 2005

Eric...

I had a dinner date with Eric last night. I met him this last march and i've always been crazy about Eric. He is from Louisiana (his family, including his son are fine), he's very handsome, very energetic, very sweet, really a good-natured guy. We have dated sporadically i guess i'd say, i've seen him maybe 8 times since March. But when we're together we have fun and he's a real gentleman, he's got that southern charm. Last time i saw him we went to brunch and he was telling me about how in his group they were talking about relationships and he wasn't sure he'd be ready for a relationship anytime soon. He's a recovering alcoholic and active in his mens groups. So i told him that we both had a lot of changes going on, but that i thought a lot of him. He kissed me goodbye that day, everything was fine, but i just got the feeling he wasn't interested. So last night we get to talking when they brought us chinese fortune cookies at the end of the meal and his said something about exagerrating with words when it comes to love and i can't even remember mine but it was love centered and i told him, have you ever heard that you are suppose to finish a fortune cookie with the words....between the sheets? So he reread it and it had a whole new meaning! So did mine. So he says, what are you saying to me?....and i'm like what?...he was trying to embarrass me. I said, "I didn't think you felt that way about me?" and he says, "What do you mean" and so i just told him, "Well, i just don't think you are interested in me romantically" and he stops me and says, "That's where you are wrong." I was taken back, but inside i was really happy. So we talked about it and he said he knows that i want a marriage and he's not ready, and i said, well neither am i, but eventually i want to be married. I don't want to just be in a relationship to be in a relationship. And we talked about how you can be committed without marriage although marriage is important to me. He told me that he was sorry that he gave me that impression, but he is interested in me, and romantically too, that he's always been. That he finds me attractive and he thought i was a good kisser...so we walked out of the restaurant holding hands and we sat in his car and talked and kissed and he got a little handsy, but was still a gentleman. The thing is, since the beginning i've always felt chemistry with him, i mean that kind of chemistry where when i was driving home i thought about his kiss, his touch and he made me tingle... And now that we have this understanding, i'm moving to CA and he's leaving possibly the same day to go to Louisiana for most of the winter to help his parents, possibly move them to Florida, take care of some family investments and teach golf. But we also talked about the fact that it can be possible for us to still stay in touch and he could fly out or me there, we'll find a way if we want to.

So why am i meeting John, my friend from church, at the parade tomorrow? Well, i was interested in John too but i think he really is not interested and we have become good friends. He is a widower, about 52, but looks more like 42, honest to God. He also is handsome, although he would never think so. He's really struggled with the tragic loss of his wife from brain cancer, he had a very long 8-9 years with her being ill. So i want nothing but good things for John. He is a dear man.

I woke up with a migraine this a.m. The weather changed, it got real hot and humid again and I think the weather may trigger them, also my time of month, which is so due. So i'm afraid i'm headed for a serious nap this afternoon to try to sleep it off. I'm getting very sensitive to light now and sound is bugging me too. Just have to go home and go to my dark room and sleep. I'll have to pack later tonight.

I've made 3 cloths so far for Cloths for Katrina. They are cute. Not sure how many i'm going to try and make and send but i'm going to have to stop soon and pick it up again when i get to CA.