September 26, 2005
My Alphabetized Existence ~B~

My alphabetized existence:

~B~
Bayard~ My brothers name is Gary Bayard, the middle name comes from my dad's friend in the service. My brother has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair. He is mentally high-functioning. We've always been pretty close, i was his caretaker when i was pretty young. Anyway, I have always called him Gary Bear, it's just my nickname for him and no one else calls him that. Gary lives in a care facility during the week and comes home on the weekends. So they took him, a long time ago, to the DMV to get his identification card. He needed special help, so the employee filled out his form for him. He got his ID and was so excited and came home to show my mom. She looks at it and says, Gary, this says your name is Gary Bear? And he's like, ya? She says, that's not your name? He says, yes it is? She says no, it's Gary Bayard... he says, no it isn't? I had i guess convinced him that his name was Gary Bear and that's what he told the woman and that's his official name now according to the state of CA! And according to Gary Bear...
Berries~ I love berries. Strawberries, currants, raspberry, blueberry, blackberry, loganberry, boysenberry. When i lived in Oregon i did a lot of canning. One of my favorite memories was driving 1.5 hours away to the east side of the Cascade mountains to a town i can't even remember the name but i read about it in the paper and i went to pick blueberries. I went alone, i was alone a lot, but i was happy to be alone this trip. I took my big canning pot and found the place, they had groves of blueberry bushes in rows, in the open sun. As ground cover around the blueberry bushes they had lemon verbena growing. I can still smell it. It was intoxicating! I picked over 9 lbs. of blueberries! 9 lbs. Think about that. In the store you buy a package that is ozs. like 6 maybe, but i had over 9 lbs of the most wonderful, lush, sweet blueberries you can imagine. And they encouraged you to try them as you pick. I remember i got sunburned but i was so happy driving home with my loot. But also as i was paying, the guy says to me, you are a canner? Yes... well, i have these cherry trees right over here and the cherries are so ripe, they are falling off the tree, you can pick all you want for free, i just don't want them to go to waste. Hot damn! He supplied a ladder and all and then i found another container and i don't remember how much i picked, but they were falling off. No need for a cherry pitter almost. Most of them came off and left the pit on the tree, that's how ripe they were. They were pie cherries, but because they were so ripe, they were sweet. I made jam out of them and i'm still told that that was the best cherry jam ever. I'll probably never be able to reproduce it because i can't find fruit like that, so ripe again. In Oregon you could find wild blackberries along the road, you'd have to keep an eye out for them, but then you'd see a patch and screetch to a halt and hope you have a container to go pick. Oh, they were the best, sweet and huge and black. My MIL at the time thought that was the greatest thing, to find fruit on the side of the road.
brat~my favorite thing to say to a co-worker who delights in giving me grief. She always acts shocked when i call her a brat, but she loves it. :) And i'll miss her.

beach~I love the beach, i feel at home there. I'd rather be at the beach than the mountains. I love the ocean, the smell, the feeling of sand under my feet, seaweed, seagulls, shells, salt water, watching the waves, seafood, the sun. If i ever were able to, i'd like a place on the beach. It wouldn't have to be big, but i'd just love that. The beach is romantic, watching a sunset, or sunrise. It puts me in the mood...

On the knitting front, i did get one sock done from the beautiful sock yarn Buttons sent me and i started the other one yesterday afternoon. This sock/knitting thing really is a sickness. I lost one of my size 0 needles to complete the first sock, decided to leave it alone until after my move. Then i had to go to the LYS to find something for my Gimme Some Needles pal and do you think i could pass up getting another pair of size 0... well, whatever, i'm getting them done. I did NOT buy any more sock yarn for me, so see, i have SOME control!

I did get some packing done yesterday and that's what i'll be doing tonight and every night from here on out. And i'm having that yard sale this sat. Last sat. it rained all day which is good because i wasn't ready anyway.

And wow, am i crabby....the stress is getting to me. I'm getting tension headaches and i'd just like to rip someone's head off about now. I can't help it.

Only good news was this weekend I spoke to the pastor from mississippi and he is ok, but he lost his house. The good news is that he's alive. Then we promptly got cut off and i couldn't get thru again.

The x-bf i was worried about, well, i'm slightly psychic or something b/c he called my mom to find out how to get ahold of me. My mom cares for him, but he upsets her too because he's such a mess and gets me involved. She kind of gave it to him, told him he had to do something about his drinking. She said she was telling him that only because she cared for him, but he had a hard time hearing it. So i did try to reach him and did, but he couldn't talk, said he'd call back, i gave him my cell, but he never called. And he was served with divorce papers, i hear through the grapevine. Makes me sad, but i have to stay away for him.

Still no word from Eric....jerk.

Nothing to report on the weightloss front, i just can't concentrate on anything. Living day to day. Trying to drink my water today, i think i've been dehydrated.







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