April 5, 2006

Dad did have another stroke and is in a convalescent hospital right now. I saw him today at lunch. It's quite depressing. Yesterday I had to make a police report re: a threatening phone call from Jr. But I'm OK and things are looking up. I'm seeing someone to help work through all this and she gave me this today:

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries
  1. Telling all.
  2. Talking at an intimate level on the first meeting.
  3. Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
  4. Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.
  5. Being overwhelmed by a person - preoccupied.
  6. Acting on first sexual impulse.
  7. Being sexual for partner, not self.
  8. Going against personal values or rights to please others.
  9. Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.
  10. Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries.
  11. Accepting food, gifts, touch, sex, that you don't want.
  12. Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting.
  13. Giving as much as you can for the sake of giving.
  14. Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
  15. Letting others direct your life.
  16. Letting others describe your reality.
  17. Letting others define you.
  18. Believing others can anticipate your needs.
  19. Expecting others to fill your need automatically.
  20. Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
  21. Self abuse.
  22. Sexual and physical abuse.
  23. Food abuse.

Do you recognize any of these behaviors as your own? Would you be willing to admit it? I will admit that I see several that I recognize, especially 10. I never notice until after the relationship is over.

All I can say is that I'm working on it, I want to be my best person.


Anonymous knit-n-purl zen said...

There's another book out called "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them" or something like that...it talks about mysognists (men who hate women) and why women love them. It is enlightening and believe me, I could check everything off TWICE when I was with my previous a**hole...I should've wrote the book! Hang in there, things will get better!

Blogger Lulu said...

hope your father is doing better..
prayers and hugs..
be careful, i hate dreadful scenes..You just dont know what people might do.

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