December 11, 2008

A man knocked on our door the other day. We don't get many people going door to door anymore so I wasn't sure what to think or who it was. We do get the occasional Jehovah's Witnesses coming around spreading the word. It used to really annoy me when they came to the door but now I just tell them politely as possible that I don't feel comfortable discussing my beliefs with them. They usually are polite too in their reply and offer to leave some reading material which I ask them to just leave for me and then I promptly throw it away. I appreciate that in America we have freedom and are entitled to our beliefs and have the freedom to tell others about it. But I am not comfortable discussing my faith with someone who knocks on my door.

So the gentleman at my door told me he was from ( insert any church name here). He said they wanted to let me know about the church, that it's decorated beautifully for Christmas, and did I know about the church? It happened to be the church I was baptized in, made my first communion in, went to confession, CCD, got married in, and my Father's funeral service was performed from this church. So I blurted the first thing I thought and said, yes, that's my church. But the problem.... it is NOT my church.

When I thought about it later, and it bothered me almost automatically, I felt like a fake, like a liar, like a weak person who was not able to profess my view. And just like I appreciate that you have the right to believe what you want, I have the right to have my beliefs and opinions.

What I said to him in my mind, after he left, was, "That was the church I grew up in, but I do not believe or want to be a part of that church." I have my faith, the church can't take that from me, but I cannot and do not want to be involved with a church that protects pedophiles. That is just wrong.

Maybe next time I will have the strength to say the truth. My truth.


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