April 17, 2008
I laugh at myself and at life, and nothing can touch me.

Have you Clicked it today? Did you happen to notice the Click Button on the left hand side of my blog?
<---------------It's over there. Please click it each time you come visit. Each click helps women in need receive a mammogram, so even if you cannot afford to pay, you may receive one. There's no excuse nowadays not to get your mammogram when needed. So please go click it. Or even better, you can download a link and put it on your own site to let others know of this benefit. You can even sign up to receive a daily reminder to go click it. It's something so simple that makes a difference is women's lives.

It's on my mind also because I have a cousin who's having major surgery today and they are not sure but she may be facing some cancer treatment herself. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

I had my weigh in yesterday and I'm down exactly 19 lbs!! I lost another 1.2 lbs for the week. I didn't make my 20# goal but I'm still happy with my loss. My work meetings may not continue next week but I'll find another meeting if that is so, I need the meetings, it helps me. And I'm so determined right now. I will not let this fork in the road deter me.

I had an interesting conversation yesterday that made me think. It's one of the WW girls I go to the meetings with and she commented that I'm looking great and that she can really see the difference. I was pleased. And then she said..."You are too pretty to be overweight". It just stopped me in mid-thought. I was silent for a second. Then I thanked her, because I know she meant it as a compliment, but it really made me think. I told her that I'm feeling determined and positive and that I know I can do this. It made me think of the offhand comment I've heard a lot of people say about others. The comment, She has such a pretty face.

So does that mean that you are pretty but only really pretty if you don't have the extra weight? That the weight takes away from your prettiness? And you are only pretty in the face, but not overall? Oh, I could just go on and on about this. I hate being perceived as not pretty enough, or kind of pretty, but if I'd lose the weight I'd be really pretty. I guess when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter what others think, what's important is how you think of yourself. But I also know that the weight does play mind games and make you question your own worth.

I always have wanted to find someone who sees through my shell, my outer appearance and sees the real me and loves me for me. Truth is, I'm basically the same person inside who deserves to be loved, at my thin weight or my not so thin weight, and I want someone to care for me, all of me, because of me. And my guy, he does do that. He's always made me feel like the most gorgeous girl, all of me. Inside and out.

I guess my point is that I don't want to have that attitude in my head, that I'd be prettier if I were thinner. I want to be accepting of me and the truth is, accepting of others, based on who they are and not what size pants they wear.

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Blogger Jadielady said...

Best of luck to your cousin. My friend had a similar scare last year and was fortunate that it was not cancer, but the procedure to test the lump was very painful. Thank you also for the reminder to click, I click all of those sites whenever I can.

As for the weight comment, I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it but you're right, it rubs ya the wrong way. There's so many beautiful women who are 'over weight" who I look up to for their confidence and being comfortable with who they are.

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