October 31, 2005
Knitting Guru

Knitting Guru
You appear to be a Knitting Guru. You love knitting
and do it all the time. While finishing a piece
is the plan, you still love the process, and
can't imagine a day going by without giving
some time to your yarn. Packing for vacation
involves leaving ample space for the stash and
supplies. It can be hard to tell where the yarn
ends and you begin.

What Kind of Knitter Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I saw this on KnitNana's blog and i too am a Knitting Guru! Kind of cool.

OK, why am i taking tests and reading blogs instead of getting my resume done...I also started a new cloth pattern and i'm stumped by a yfwd in the pattern. This is just a yarn forward, right? I'm kind of stumped because it seemed i'm suppose to make up a stitch before a k2tog, but yfwd doesn't make a stitch like a yo? I need to go try it again. I'm frustrated.

starting to wonder...

I'm really starting to wonder if i'm having a mental block with my resume and finding a job. I cannot seem to get my resume completed. I start it, something comes up, i stop. I say i have to do it, i make a goal, but it's still not done. And now i'm going to the bank w/mom and the DMV to get my car straightened out...and then she wants to go to a store kind of farther away. So it won't get done again. Unless i say, it's getting done when i get home. And then will i do it? All i want to do is knit. But i knit and then i realize i should be doing my resume. I bought a paper yesterday to look at the classifieds. I looked, but no action. K, so i put it out there. I have to get it done now. What do you do when you get stuck on something like this? Do you think it's procrastination, or what's my problem?

October 30, 2005
Golden Oreos?

Did you know they have golden oreos? I know they have those disgusting ones with bright hunter orange filling around this time of year and they have/or had? coffee or mocha filling and chocolate and mint i think, but i had never seen the golden ones. Maybe it's a CA thing? Or maybe...i haven't bought any cookies, because i'm trying to lose weight. Well, wouldn't you know, my Dad loves these things and that was his request from the store, and oh wait, they were buy one get one free. So ya, i ate cookies tonight...

But we also made some kinda healthy baked chicken, thighs and legs, and i got the crock pickles done. I made a batch of broccoli/cauliflower salad, and oh, it's good. I'll give you that recipe quick. I personally don't like cauliflower a bunch, but i know it's nutritious and i can eat it this way.

Broccoli/Cauliflower Bacon Salad

1 bunch Broccoli, cut into very small pieces. I use the tops and some of the stems, but the tender parts only and cut really small.

Cauliflower, i use about 2/3 of a head, cut the same way as the brocolli.

1/2 lb. bacon, cooked and crumbled

1/4 cup sunflower seeds

1/4 cup golden raisins or craisins or a mix of both

1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup Splenda or Sugar
1-2 Tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar

Put all ingredients in bowl. Stir dressing until it's smooth, put over ingredients and toss.

May not be low cal with the mayo but i like the Splenda in it and it's an alternative for me to eat veggies.

Tomorrow i have to get my resume done and my goal is to have it posted also on monster.com. I have to focus tomorrow. Focus...

church and pickles

We (Mom and me) attempted to go to church this a.m. but they weren't having services there today, but in the park. And we had the time wrong anyway. So we'll try again. I may go to a 6 pm service in the park tonight. So then Mom and I did our favorite thing to do on Sunday mornings....we shopped and dinged around. :) We went to the Ranch Market and got some really lovely produce. We found real unwaxed cucumber pickles so i'm going to try a batch of crock dill pickles today. It'll be something for my brother to help us with today. I've made them before and they are really easy and good. So we got some fresh dill and pickle spices, garlic bulbs, butternut squash, yellow squash, yellow tomatoes, cauliflower, green beans. We're eating healthy now! Then we went to a natural health food store to get some more acidophilus. My mother has had a form of thrush i think.Her mouth is coated in the mornings and her tongue is really sensitive and spicy food hurts her. My healing therapist said it has to do with her stomach so she's been taking yogurt in the a.m. but i found a natural drinkable acidophilus and so i got it for her so she could try it. The small bottle was only $2.50, it was worth a try. And do you know what, for the first time in months, she woke up the next day after drinking a 1/3 of the bottle, and she didn't have the coating in her mouth! I'm taking it to get better after this flu. My tummy is still kind of a mess.

Off to make pickles...

October 28, 2005
he loves me...

I had a late night call last night from the ex. It's complicated and not sure i want to go into all the details, but the thing i do know....he loves me. And worse yet, i love him. But the question is if he can love himself enough to get his life together so that we can be happy and share it together. We'll see. I'm not going to sit waiting, but there's a part of my heart that has waited for over 20 years and really thinks we could be happy. We shall see.

Still have a bad tummy today but we got a lot done. We're clearing out the garage to get some of my crap situated and also my friend is having a yard sale in November and we're taking stuff over there and then we're having another one in December here. We're determined to get rid of some of this crap. Oh, and some of it is not crap and i'm trying to get it set up to sell on ebay. It's hard to know what's crap or not sometimes. For instance, my mom and dad have a set of Decca Records of the Merry Widow with Kitty Carlisle, Wilbur Evans and Felix Knight from i think 1946. It's so old i can't get an estimate of a price on it. I was directed to a norwegian or russian website and told to ask him. It's worth money i am sure. I found two old Fisher Price View Finders. Remember those? And i have a Winnie the Pooh and a Captain Kangaroo viewer for them. I bet some collector might want those. It's a lot of work to figure it all out. But OMG....i found a sort of mother lode for me, i found some of my grandmothers old afghan works and i found old knitting patterns AND do any of you remember when the magazine Elle first started? Well when it did, they always had on the last or next to last page a knitting pattern for a sweater usually and I FOUND about 5 issues of that!! And my mother found her sweater pattern book of the only sweater she has knit, it was her favorite, she's told me about it for years, with a cable running down the arms, seed stitch on the front with cables on the front. She found it! And was so excited so we're going to convert the pattern for sizing and that's going to be her next big project. I want her to find the right yarn for it. The pattern calls for a Bernat yarn but i have to look up if they make that yarn still and/or find it or an equivalent.

Even with finding all the treasure, we got a lot done. But i realized something today.... I'm happy here. I found myself with a grin on my face, walking into the house, and wondering, why are you smiling? I'm so happy to be home.

October 26, 2005

My life is run by food, it's a big part of who i am. It's part of my family culture, it's been a comfort to me, and a detriment now sometimes as i battle losing weight. Today is kind of a food day and i thought I'd share with you a couple pics and a recipe. The first pic is of my mother's famous Bread Pudding w/Bourbon Sauce. Now, i can hear you, "Oh, i don't like bread pudding". That's what I use to say. But i tried this one and it was yummy! So now when i got home, one of my first requests was to have bread pudding. I also told my mother that if i ever get married, we're having bread pudding with bourbon sauce! Forget the cake! Sheesh, we can get a cake topper and go through all that but give our guests the GOOD stuff! It's so good that my friend asked mom if she'd make her one for her dad's birthday tomorrow and she'd pay her! Mom won't charge her and was happy to make one.

We also made Macaroni Tuna Casserole. There again, i can't say i was thrilled by tuna casserole, especially as a kid, until my mom's friend Cena gave her her sister's recipe. They are dutch and so i think it's an old family recipe. Except it takes Velveeta cheese and i'm not sure when that was invented...and i can hear you saying, eww Velveeta, or fish bait, but i would just say, try it, because this is really the best and cheesiest tuna casserole you'll ever have.
Here's the recipe:
3 Tbsp. butter
1 Tbsp. flour (heaping)
3 cups milk
1/2 tsp. onion salt
salt and pepper
1 9 oz. can tuna
1 can cream of mushroom soup
4- 1/2 inch slices of Velveeta Cheese
3 Cups elbow macaroni, cooked as directed

Melt butter, add flour and cook until it bubbles and flour browns slightly. Add milk and stir until slightly thickened, add seasoning, turn heat to low, add flaked tuna, soup and cheese and stir until cheese is melted.

Place cooked macaroni in casserole, pour creamed tuna mixture over, mix well. Sprinkle cracker crumbs (or breadcrumbs) on top.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

We added about a half cup of frozen peas because we like them. We also added 2 cans of tuna instead of one. And we added crushed butter crackers on top before baking.

Would you look at the brat cat. This is his favorite spot in the whole house. He will sit in that window all day, just watching what's going on outside. That is fine with me as long as he doesn't try to go outside. We live on a dead-end by oil fields and there's coyotes up there. Too scary. If he's happy in the house, that's where he's staying. My mom took this pic this morning. She is so funny. She's turned into the cat lady. She bought him some cat toys yesterday and some treats. She loves the cat. She loves Simba too, but has found out that she's a cat person. She'll come in and say, "Have you ever noticed how Tom has one little black spot on the bottom of his foot?"...she's in love with him.

I've been knitting too but i had to put the socks down for awhile. I have size 1 metal dpn's i'm using and it gave me a sore under my pinky. Uncomfortable to knit sometimes, so i switched back to making cloths with my new circular bamboos from my Gimme Some Needles pal Tena and i love them. I started a scarf with the pink bulky Lamb's Pride yarn she gave me, but not sure i like the pattern, mom likes it, but i don't think it lays nice.

Can you tell i'm feeling better?

October 25, 2005
Self Portrait Tuesday

My portrait today is my baby Simba, isn't she adorable. She's adjusting well to the new house. You really don't want to see me after having the flu since Sat. I thought i might be better today, but alas.... :( Did a whole lot of nothing today, except a load of laundry and then felt really cooped up in the house, so mom and i went to the pet store, to Costco, home to eat, and then Big Lots for yarn, they had none, then Walmart, and then i was totally sick again so we came home. Got some nighttime flu stuff, hoping to sleep well tonight.

October 24, 2005
Monday a.m.

I woke up Sat. with the flu, i think. I woke up with this horrible headache and my body joints were aching. I wasn't hungry (so I MUST be sick!)... so i just got up and kind of sat around. My dear sweet mamacita brought me tea and tried to take care of me. They had to go somewhere so i just sat and knit. I still wasn't feeling well yesterday and today i don't have a headache but by the time i finished brushing my teeth, i was exhausted. So here i sit and type.

My back has also been very touchy. It's not like it was when i first got home, and i'm not having to ice all the time, but it's still nagging me.

Friday, Mom had to drive up to their dr's office to get a prescription so i asked her if we could go to a town kind of close to go to a LYS. I kind of hate driving with my mother sometimes, she's always nervous and can't just sit. She's the navigator, even when she has no clue where we are going. And if she knows you have to make a RH turn, for instance, she'll tell you what lane to get in, even when the turn is like a 1.5 away...i digress...so we somehow made it to the first store and it was in an old house converted to a yarn store. The owner was a really sweet lady, very communicative, but her prices were so high. I could tell by a few items i looked at. I bought a skein of yarn for my Gimme Some Needles pal but didn't get the bamboo needles there because it was about $4-5 dollars overpriced. That's a lot! So then we found the other store which was just blocks away and it's in an old office building and you have to ring to be let in. Very nice owner, very cool store. She had a nice selection of yarn, and she had some cool original art work. She has Ladies Night every Wed. and she said they sit and knit and talk, about everything, and there is always dinner served (wow!?), so we'll hopefully go to that. I think it'd be a great way to meet people.

Then we went to have lunch at this great place that has a great greek salad. I had commented to my mom that last time i was there, which was Christmas time, i saw my old modeling agent. Mom says, "He's still alive?" I had thought the same thing because he seemed rather old when i was going to his modeling school in the late 70's, early 80's, but guess who was there again! My mom and i were eating and she says, Mitch, is that him? And sure enough, there he was. We both could not remember his name, but my mind dug deep and it hit me and i said, Mom, William Adrian and she said, yep, that's it. It was so strange to see him and it wasn't like i'd go up to him and say hello. How sad that is. I thought about it and i imagined that he'd say, oh, you got fat...shows me that i have to work on my own internal dialog.

K, have to go watch some food tv and get on with my day.

October 23, 2005
Self Portrait Tuesday

**I started this post last Tuesday and just realized i never posted it, i'm posting now cuz i want you to see the pics.**

Already? Well i took some pics of my mess because my crap is all over the house but i just couldn't post that. Suffice it to say that i have been working, doing laundry and organizing, but today i feel so out of sorts. The pics would show that, but i just can't post them today.

Here is a pic of my finished socks I made from my sock yarn i received from my wonderful SP6.
I don't like how i do the toe anymore. It seems too pointy? I'm going to try a new pattern (new to me) from knitty called Broadripple. I think they are cute and i'm going to try that toe and see if I like it better. The problem with socks is that i want them all and i need to save them for presents. But i haven't decided, this pair may have to be my own. They'd look so cute with my Birks and i love the colors. I have to find a LYS soon and get some yarn. Or maybe....ooh, maybe i have an excuse to place a Knit Picks order!

Today i went to my friend's house to help her out while she was working from home. She has twin girls turning 3 this month and what a handful. Her dad was there when i got there, he left, i helped by cleaning the kitchen, watching the little ones, straightening the front room, folding some laundry and starting some more. Then we went to go pick up her 8 yo girl from school, went to the grocery store, i stayed in car with kids so she could just go in, and then i helped her get it in and i left. Wow, she has her hands full. I'm pooped and i didn't hardly do anything. Oh, i just had a voice message from my friend and she needs me to come over tomorrow too. Fine with me. Oh, have to go call her back.

My Alphabetized Existence ~C~

Chickens~I love chickens. I think they are really amazing creatures. When i lived in Oregon I was home for awhile, not working outside the home, so i learned to do a lot of things i never knew i would. I am a city girl, i grew up east of East Los Angeles, you know, like where Cheech and Chong were from?... We're talking big city, my school had i think over 1000 kids. So my mom was amazed that i would have the interest or inclination to do these things. But i have always loved things old. Anyway...i wanted chickens because we had 7 acres of land and i wanted to have my own eggs, maybe to sell some. So my birthday is in March and one year, that's what i wanted for my birthday, chickens. And my x-hubby built me a chicken coop. He was a carpenter and he did a pretty good job on this coop. So i ordered my chicks from a catalog and they were sent to me. I got a special note from the postal carrier that i had a special pick up. So i ran to the post office, like 16 miles away, and picked up i think 12 or 24, 2 or 3 day old chicks. I can't remember the breed, but i ordered hens, layers.
chonies~That's what we called our underwear or panties growing up. It still comes out of my mouth sometimes. It's a variation of the spanish word for undies, calzones. It's one of those words that is fun to say.
christian~I am a Christian. That is how i identify myself. Growing up I use to be Catholic, but i had no idea what i believed in. I am not Catholic because i have many personal issues with the church. I cannot be a part of them as they are today. But i'm so happy to say I'm a Christian because i know what I believe and I love the Lord. I am not perfect, by no means, and i take people for who they are, i know that God loves all people, whether they are "Christian" or not.
Corgi~One of my first pets was a dog named Gabriella Hancooke. She was given to me as a puppy on Christmas morning. She was a Welsh Corgi Pembroke and she was red and white, short, squat, and strong as all get out. I was probably about 7 or so when i got her and i like all kids had good intentions to take care of her, but frankly, children are not responsible enough to care for a pet in my opinion, so a lot of the responsibility fell to my grandmother and mom and dad. Well Grandma had this great idea to chain her to a cement block, you know the ones that have two holes in them. Well Gabby ended up dragging that brick all over the backyard and built up really strong muscles. And she was a barker too, our poor neighbors. We ended up having to give her away because it was just too much for us, i think Grandma had died too by then and it was too much for my mom. Corgi's are the royal dog for the Royal Family, there is a lot of history behind them and they are cute little things. Someday i may get one again.
compassion~I want to be the type of person that people know had compassion. It is one of the heavenly gifts the Lord gives us. I didn't know this before and use to think that i was just a sap. I can be very emotional. I feel people's pain, i always have. But now i see it as a gift from the Lord and therefore can try to do something positive with it.

October 20, 2005
ok, but not hearing wedding bells

The coffee date was ok. He was a really nice guy but i'm thinking not for me. I had a nonfat sugarfree decaf latte and it was good. We had some conversation, he showed me a tile he made and he put my picture of it somehow with this sublimation machine which was really cool and very nice of him. He said he'd like to do it again. He asked if i was hungry, i had already had dinner. I didn't have the heart to say i didn't want to see him again, but i'm not sure i do.

Check out this dang cat:

Ya, that's Tom laying on my mom's blue velvet outfit she planned to wear to my father's 50th highschool reunion this weekend! She took the picture, she said he's so dang cute she couldn't get mad at him. Oh, he's working his magic on her. She's in love with my cat. She told me last night that it was OK if Tom slept in her room at night because he was no bother, he usually just curls up on her feet. Yah, working his magic. But i'm so happy that it's working out at home with my furry children. And my dad who is "allergic" to cats has had not one reaction to Kiki (that's Tom's nickname).

Looksee, looksee....

I got a package...it was so nice to get a package from my dear sweet gimme some needles pal Tena. Bamboo needles and really nice Lamb's Pride Pink bulky yarn which i love, love, love. I'm thinking of making a scarf out of it, or i'm just not sure right now. I've been consumed with Cloths for Katrina and socks lately. But thank you Trena, i really love it!!

coffee date

I have a coffee date tonight with Vaughn who i met online. I'm just going for the heck of it. He's someone who showed interest, we chatted a bit, we spoke on the phone the other night and then he said he wanted to meet. He offered to come out my way to my city so that's cool. We'll see what happens. The guy from MN, Wilson, is continuing to call. Not much else to report. I'll post later with details and some pics of my latest sock and also a pic of my super cool package I received from my sweet Gimme Some Needles Pal.

October 16, 2005
The ex...

I had been in CA since Tuesday and no call from the ex. He knew i was moving, he asked me aboaut six times when i'd be here and then no call. He had called while I was packing 3 times in one day but never told me where to call. Not so unusual, his life is kind of a mess right now. So last night i got in bed and then i heard my phone ringer in the bathroom where the phone was charging...oh shit...i'm pretty sure who that is. And it was...hey, where have you been, gosh i needed to hear your voice...same ol, same ol... But then we got to talking and i have this huge ugly soft spot for this man. Actually, there's still a part of me who loves him. I've realized that. But i also know that i don't want him in this condition and i told him as much. He needs to get and stay sober. He'd be so wonderful if he would. But he's not ready. I can hear it in his voice and basically he'll agree that the drink is a problem, but that he isn't quitting. OK. We talked about a lot of things, but we ended by praying. I asked if we could pray, he said yes, he said a small prayer himself, which i know was hard for him to do, he's not used to it, so i give him credit, and then he says, now you...so i prayed for him and for me and for us, i prayed that he'd realize that God loves him and that he can get sober because the Lord doesn't give us anything we can't handle. We said our Amen, I love you, I love you too, and hung up. He is so very sweet and tender sometimes and it breaks my heart to think of him in so much pain, but i know i can't fix it. He lets me get to that side of him, he wants me to be there. We had intimacy in many ways while together, and we have a sort of intimacy in how we relate to eachother now.

Self Portrait Tuesday

So it's Sunday a.m.... but i was busy driving across country last week, so that's why i'm late.

My life in a box...

The skies were beautiful, even with the rain coming while driving through Oklahoma.

My navigator and dear sweet mamacita.

The beautiful area of New Mexico

October 15, 2005
Warm and Sunny California!!

Made it to California late Tuesday night. We ended up leaving a day later, we left Sunday around 11 am. We had a mishap right off the bat. Mom and i drove maybe not even 3 miles away and i thought the truck felt weird and she was asking "Does it feel right to you...?" and i'm looking in the mirrors and wondering if i'm seeing exhaust or smoke...and we come to a stoplight and this guy yells, "Your tire is on fire!!!!" I'm like, "Oh, shit", so i get out the fire extinguisher and i'm thinking, get the cat out of the car which is on the trailer. So i go back there and the tire is NOT on fire, but it smells like burnt rubber. It seems that the brake on the car trailer went on while i was loading the car and i didn't realize it. Guess we were pulling the trailer behind us. So i had to undo it, take off the brake, and we were just fine after that. We kind of laughed about it later cuz my first thought was to get a fire extinguisher, but mom's was to get her purse...and i'm looking everything over and i remember looking at her and i'm like, "Why do you have your purse?"...guess you had to be there! We really had a great trip though. We drove all the way to Emporia Kansas and stayed the night, then the next day we drove all the way to Albuquerque New Mexico which we both loved, it was so beautiful there. We stayed that night with my mom's friends and what nice people they were. So gratious. My back was not doing well, and the morning we were leaving from NM was really rough, but once i got in the truck i was ok and able to drive and drive we did.

My kitty was so good on the trip, he was in the carrier in the car and never complained. He really traveled well. We snuck him into the hotel and he came out and acted like it was no big deal. Simba traveled well too and didn't even get sore from getting in and out of the truck. The cat loves CA! It's so funny, he doesn't even want to go outside, he just wanders around the house, sits in my parents bedroom window, lounges around. He's happy. And my dad who is allergic has not had one adverse affect of the cat yet.

We hired 2 day laborers to unload the truck and my back was so bad i had to go lay down and ice. But they did a great job and were worth the money. I also had very swollen feet and legs, i had no ankle. I think it was a combination of the drive, the salt, the warm weather, but i was very swollen. Then my mom made me some parsley tea yesterday. You just boil the heck out of parsley and drink the green tea and i'll be darned if it didn't work. It's a miracle, i've been suffering since Tuesday.

We're on our way to dinner tonight to celebrate my bro's birthday. It was Tuesday, we had birthday cake yesterday, a homemade chocolate cake and i made the icing. It starts with a milk/flour mixture that you cool, then you add sugar butter and shortening, vanilla and cocoa and beat it for 10 minutes. It's yummy, i like it cuz it's not so sweet and light and airy. The cake is super easy too and the best chocolate cake ever. It takes a cup of cool coffee in it. Anyway, he opened presents and enjoyed that last night but tonight is dinner. My friend from High school, the one who is going to be my partner in our business is going to meet us there with her girls. She has an 8 year old and twins, almost 3. Her DH is on a fishing trip this weekend, so she's going to come have fun with us.

I finally got a bit of knitting done last night and this a.m. I am finishing a pair of socks with the cool yarn my sp6 gave me! Love that yarn and i'm glad i put it in my bag. All my other stuff is boxed and i'm not sure i want to go attempt to even find it at this point. My mom is going to start knitting and crocheting cloths for Katrina and hurricane victims and my friend who doesn't knit said she'd give me soap, isn't that cool?!

I hope to post pics of our trip soon. Mom got some really nice ones.

October 4, 2005
Self Portrait Tuesday

October's Theme is a self-documentary series. This is me getting ready in the morning for my last day of work in MN. I'm so happy in a way, and so anxious too. I will be in CA for next weeks pics, i plan to chronicle our 3 day trip. So many new beginnings and opportunities. It's good to change...

We had a lunch, all us girls today, that was nice. My coworker/friend Scheryl gave me a really cute gift. I made her a knit centerpiece in her colors to thank her for renting her tables which she wouldn't let me pay for. So she gave me this for the knit thing. Know i owe her again. They are blown eggs, died and paper quilled. I've never seen anything like them. See..

Aren't they gorgeous? Now, can i get them to CA in one piece?

I should learn, had a voicemessage on cell today, went out after lunch and it's the x. So i call back and she answered....i'm never doing that again. Why is he still bugging me?

October 3, 2005
Freaking out....

I had my yard sale sat. and sun. Sold about $120 worth of stuff. Slightly disappointed, people are so weird. Sorry, but they are, i'm going to be careful and watch my attitude when and if i ever go to a sale again, i mean really. I had some nice stuff out there and people want to pay a $1 for everything...i mean i had some girls socks that i beaded and crocheted the top and people wouldn't spend $2 on them... i had a daybed for $25 dollars, nobody wanted it. And they'd come and look over stuff and it was just the whole attitude about it. I hated it. I had to go run an errand and so i left the stuff out there, put a note saying if they wanted something to leave the money on the honor system or to call me w/questions. Well, someone took the chest of drawers and taped the $20 to the door which was cool, the honor system worked. And i about killed myself getting the crap out there. The night before i'm taking apart that damn daybed upstairs and cannot get one screw loose, so the end is still attached to the back frame by one screw. I got to the point where i was gonna blow, i felt it bubbling inside. I asked the Lord to help me, to give me patience. I still couldn't get it undone so i took it down the skinny old farmhouse steps together like that and outside. But getting the frame and mattress out, that was a lesson in patience too. I finally had to take the door off the hinges and finally got it out, cussing all the way...ok, not cussing really, but pissed off and sweating and just hating the whole process of moving. Then i got up early around 6:30 and lugged everything outside by myself. It wasn't a great experience for me. And then my back was hurting so bad, i ended up taking a pain pill and muscle relaxer and promptly took a nap...

The only good part was i got a cat carrier at the humane society for $4 and they gave me a collar for him. I was worried he'd hate the carrier but my Tom, he was so good. I put the collar on and he didn't fuss. I put him in the carrier, he went right in and i put him on top of my armoire where he could see me and he never meowed. He turned around a few times and also took a nap. I put him in again yesterday and he went right in no problem. He loves it, so i'm not so worried about my poor kitty. And the carrier has a piece of carpet custom fit for the bottom and a container for food and water. It's perfect.

Tomorrow is my last day of work and i'm thinking, why am i here? I should be home and packing. I'm no where ready to pack the truck on Thursday and leave Sat. But it'll get done....that's what i keep telling myself. So i still have to get a dumpster delivered at the house, which hurts me cuz it's so expensive, and i need to arrange to have a cleaner come in to clean the place. My mom thinks she's doing that, but i'm not letting her and i know that i can't do it with my back.

The x-boyfriend called this weekend. Drunk of course, going on and on about what's going on in his life. He's so self-centered when he's drinking. He is getting divorced, but isn't out of the house until he gets his money he says from the house. Not sure how that's going to happen. And guess where he was going to go? He was coming to MN to be with me?!! I'm like, um, well i won't be here, i'm moving back. He's like, well, geez, i don't want to live here, now what am i going to do? Like it's my problem? Oh, he is such a mess. It hurts me but i can not and do not want him in my life, not like this. We did talk about him and his drinking. He admits he's an alcoholic, but he doesn't want to stop, it comes down to that, he doesn't think he can stop and he doesn't want to. OK, fine, but leave me alone then. I can't help you.

Sorry for the blabbing and complaining lately on this blog. And after tomorrow i won't be able to post until next week when i'm in CA. So if you are a prayer or whatever, please pray for our trip, that it is safe and send good thoughts our way. Thanks!