January 29, 2006

I had a date with Willy last night. We met at Applebee's, he had a strawberry margarita, I had a glass of merlot (I know, according to the movie Sideways, Merlot is not in style anymore, but I like it!), and then we walked to the theatre next door and saw Nanny McPhee at the 10 pm show. I enjoyed the movie. He was a nice enough guy, but there was no spark... Oh, I guess I didn't mention it, but Junior and I are not seeing each other anymore. He emailed me today saying if we could be friends. I'm not interested in being "friends", I had real feelings for him. I think he just wants to have it all. And my xdbf whom I thought was in rehab left me a voicemail this a.m. wondering why I won't talk to him. I told him last week that until he went to rehab not to call me. And now, I'm the big meanie. I thought he did go in, but obviously not...wonder why I've been plagued by headaches lately.

We painted my dear mamacita's bathroom yesterday. It's a small bathroom and it's off of the their bedroom we just painted so we wanted something that was complimentary to the bedroom. In the same color scheme we choose a light green, very pale. In fact, it looked white in the can and when painting, wasn't sure mom would like it. Part of the problem was we were painting over a pale pink and it just looked awful until all that pink was gone and then the green popped out. I love it, I think it looks very classic, and soothing and makes the bathroom bigger.
Here is the putrid pink bathroom before painting.

Another of the "before" bathroom.

And here it is this a.m. See how faint the color is, but it did come out in this lighting.

And here it looks white.

Taking my brother to the mall today. He likes to get out once in awhile, i need to get something at Nordstrom with a gift card and then we are taking him to go have coffee. One of his favorite things to do.

January 27, 2006
Sock Memories Shawl

Here is the Sock Memories Shawl from Knit Picks completed, but not blocked.
The colors are not this prominent in person, it's much more soothing and I like the colors. In fact I'm wearing it now because it is warm and I keep getting a chill in my bones.
Here is Tom wrapped in the shawl, he didn't seem to mind.

I have already started my next project. It is the Adamas shawl from Knit Picks. I'm making it in the Shadow Yarn in the Redwood Forest color. I'm enjoying knitting it so far but it's weird to knit from the top center down. I remember the first time I knit a shawl, I knew I had to be knitting it wrong, it just felt weird, until I figured out how it was knit. It looks like it would be knit from the point and out to the flat top, but oh no... I can't imagine how they were able to come up with the pattern.

I had a really bad migraine the other day that put me back in bed it was so bad. Yesterday was better, I didn't wake up with it, but I had the after affects which seems like a hangover and neck and shoulder pain. It got worse and I feared it was coming back last night, but it did not and I feel great today.

Back on program today and doing well with the eating because I'm feeling better and my cravings from Aunt Flo are gone too. Thank God! I didn't have a loss this week on WI Wednesday but I'm OK with that because of Aunt Flo, next week will be better.

I got 3 major things off my list this week. Don't want to say what just yet, but I feel I've accomplished something.

Thank you to all of you who were able to see my brother's blog and post a comment. He hasn't seen most of them yet, but will today or tomorrow and he is going to try and reply to all of you. (Or that is the suggestion from his big sis!) It means a lot to me that you have taken time to do that for him.

January 21, 2006
A crappy day with a good ending

Yesterday was a pretty crappy day overall but ended ok. I had a 10 am appt. to do my pre-interview testing for an HR Admin. Asst. job. The job wasn't too far away and i got my hopes up. I got there early, we had to wait awhile for it to start and were told it could take upwards of 4 hours. I prayed while waiting, prayed that i would do my best, don't get testing anxiety, be myself if i did interview. Prayed that this was the job for me. So there were 4 different parts to the testing and i did the first three which included a basic logic test that was 45 minutes long, a test where we had to study this paper for 15 minutes about reverse mortgages and then do a test without the paperwork (not sure how i did) and then we had an essay test which was a booklet of questions and we had to right a short essay per question. I felt i did well but while waiting to see if there were managers available to interview, the receptionist called 2 of us out (we were the only ones finished) and said that she was sorry but they did not have a position for us at this time. I was so frustrated and disappointed. It felt like such a waste of time, i felt this sense of failure and i don't even know if i did well or not, or if I just didn't fit there profile. I know you have to go thru this to find your job, but it just feels so awful sometimes.

Then i called Junior and went by his place to pick up my bible which i left at his house when we went to church, he wanted to talk, he wanted me to stay, but he was working out and wanted to finish that, so we kind of tried to talk anyway and i was pissed and upset about the job and everything and him, and then we got to this point in our discussion where it was going nowhere and he interrupted me and i just said, you know what, forget it, if you can't even let me finish a sentence and i left...

The only good thing about the day was my best bud called to check on how the testing went and i told her and she said, how about learning what i do and i have this job and don't have time and you can do it. I could be her assistant on some jobs and learn to do programming for phone systems. I know i can do this and i'm so grateful that she'll be there to help me. I'm really excited about this. So hopefully this job will start soon and i can do it at her house or maybe my house and i'll have some money soon. And i can also learn to do the training at the different companies and make extra cash there too.

I know things happen as they should, but sometimes it just feels awful.

Today is Denise's Memorial service. She has been cremated and there has been a change of times and days for the service, it's kind of messed up, but we (mamacita and I) are going this afternoon. We may go after and have a drink at the only bar we ever go to which is in the area to show my mom where my friend and i go sometimes and she's suppose to come up and have a drink with us.

Thank you Tori for your post to Gary's blog, he enjoyed it! You are so sweet!

January 17, 2006
Meme from Tori!

She is so polite! So as not to obligate anyone, Tori at Knitting, Dogs and More posted a Meme of Fours but didn't tag anyone. So i'm tagging myself! Just cuz i like her! So here goes...

4 jobs you have had in your life
Worked in Baskin Robbins thru highschool (and i was skinny then!)
Worked at Fayva shoes (hated it!)
Worked as Executive Assistant to CEO and Vice Chairman
Worked as a chiropractic medical biller.

4 movies you could watch over and over
A Little Romance
A Secret Garden (the English version)
Steel Magnolias
Terms of Endearment

4 places you have lived
Southern California
Another Southern CA town about 10 miles away from parents when i first married
Chiloquin, Oregon (very small, pretty but weird town)
Twin Cities, Minnesota

4 TV shows you love to watch
Dog the Bounty Hunter
Starting Over
Trauma 911
Law and Order: Criminal Intent

4 places you have been on vacation
Carribbean - St. Martin, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas
Palm Springs
Monterrey/Carmel, CA

4 websites you visit daily
3 Fat Chicks
Yahoo groups CraftyLosers, FiberRaok

4 of your favorite foods

4 places you would rather be right now
At the beach knitting
At Big Bear, CA, by a nice romantic fire with a honey and knitting
In New Zealand, did you know they have more sheep than people per capita? (I'd be knitting AND spinning there!)
In Venice, in a gondola, with a honey, going under the Bridge of Sighs at Sunset (if you see the movie A Little Romance, you'll understand!) and of course, i'd knit there!

4 bloggers you are tagging
Anyone who reads this and wants to put it on their blog. Per Tori, :) who's teaching me manners...

January 16, 2006

One great thing happened today, i got a bite on a job that is not too far from me and it's an administrative position and pays well and is NOT thru an agency. They contacted me online and asked if i could come in friday for testing, up to a 4 hour test. Wow! So i of course said yes, i'd be there and they sent me a preinterview form and i filled that out. I'm researching this company but it looks promising. I've been feeling a bit down lately about the job thing, so this lifted my spirits.

What I did good today: I resisted temptation for dinner. I am not feeling great, i've had chills and achiness, and tummy is upset and for dinner i REALLY wanted some of mom's chili and some cornbread with gobs of butter and syrup on it. Comfort food. But nobody made any cornbread and i knew i should stick to plan and so i made this huge lovely salad with chicken, mozzarella cheese and a olive oil and lemon juice dressing. I also had some brown rice and i feel so much better for it.

Here's a pic of my finished Dainty Bess scarf before blocking. I still haven't figured out the best way to do it. Any ideas? Have any of you ever blocked a lace item? And the other pic is of my Sock Memories Shawl in the Fly Fishing colorway from Knit Picks. I don't think this pic shows how pretty the colors are or the lace pattern it's knit in. But i'm not a good pic taker lately. And oh, sorry about the no makeup icky pic of me. What can i say...The other pic is our ever entertaining cat Tom. He's such a nut! We love to see how he's napping. This morning i almost killed him though. He got outside and hid under my parents van and there i was on the ground in my white robe trying to get him, and i finally said, oh forget it. Let the coyotes get him, i'm tired of this. And then he came out and wanted in. Well not really, it took food as bait and turning on the van to get him inside.

My brother was here for the long weekend and i helped him to create his own blog. He is a little younger than me but in a wheelchair and has cerebral palsy. Here is his blog if you'd like to visit and it'd be great if you'd comment so he'd kind of get this "blog" thing! He's going tno use it to keep in touch with family and kind of an online diary of his life.

I'm really into that book Wicked, i'm almost 3/4's thru with it. I have Mirror Mirror to start after that. I went to bed before 9 pm last night, yes, that's right, ME, in bed that early but then my lovely cat and dog woke me up at 4:30 something. I let Simba out, chased after the cat again and then could not go back to sleep so i read for awhile. Around 5:30 i went back to bed. I'm going to hit the hay early again. I really thing i'm sick with a touch of flu because it's 6:46 and i'm wanting to go to bed.

Oh, Junior and I aren't talking again....whatever....

January 15, 2006

Here is mom's room before we ripped off all the wallpaper and border.
That back wall was a pain because the wallpaper was vinyl so we had to rip it off and then there was paper and tons of glue under it. It took us a whole day to prepare that wall. But i got it peeled and glue off and spackled, sanded and primed by the evening. Mom was cutting in the paint around the doors and windows etc. and we were ready to paint yesterday a.m.

Here is the cat who we evidently were bothering during his nap time!

We got it all done. I love, love, love the color, it's called Timeless Taupe and we were looking for a coffee with lots of cream color and it was! It doesn't come out true in the pic i'm afraid. But it looks really nice with the white trim and windows and her bedspread and cherrywood furniture. She's happy with it. Except now the white doors and trim need to be painted and we're also going to paint her bathroom off the bedroom. There is a set of colors that coordinate with the bedroom and i think we're going to paint her bathroom a pretty light cream with a little yellow in it and one wall is going to be this pale pale green. It's a really small bathroom and hard to explain but i think it'll look great. Here's the finished results.

Having a really bad couple days food wise. I think i'm PMS'ing actually. I just want salty stuff, like chips...but today is a new day, even though i already blew breakfast.

And i had an argument with Junior yesterday too...I don't know what's going on there. Whatever. I don't care at this point. That sounds awful, i know.

January 13, 2006

Denise passed on yesterday afternoon... My dear mamacita went to see her early morning and then she called and said that she was going to stay because she didn't have much time. She was not there during her last breath, but she was there for her and the family. Denise wanted certain people to be with her during her last moments, and my mom was one of them. We are sad that she is gone, but i think we are all happy that she isn't suffering anymore either. When i think about her and her death i think there were many lessons for us about family and how you deal with them and how you shouldn't take family for granted. It's her remaining family who will now have to deal with their actions i'm afraid and so i'll pray for them. Denise is happy now, she doesn't need prayer.

Going to redo my parents bedroom today. We're removing wallpaper and going to paint. We're basing it all on her bedspread which is a light blue, shiny, with a cream color, taupey beige pattern. We're thinking of a coffee with cream color. I can see it in my mind and i think it'd be so pretty with her light blue carpet and cherry wood bedroom set. So it'll give us something to do today. And tomorrow too i'm sure.

I'm feeling really good about my eating but i need to improve the exercise efforts. But even getting a handle on the eating is making me feel so much better. I love that i can eat so well and healthy and lose. My goal today is again to have my 64 oz. of water. It's difficult sometimes to do. I'm allowing myself 1 diet soda a day, but i still need the water. And i lost my 32 oz. water jug, but i can't make excuses, i have to just do it.

January 11, 2006
Wednesday Weigh In

Since I've decided for this blog to including losing weight again... well i'm going to post my weigh in on wednesdays. I sometimes weigh other times during the week, but i'll post only today. So, since last week i have lost 4.5 lbs.! I am thrilled!!! I've been on my new eating plan for 9 days and i'm so happy with it. I absolutely love SparkPeople! Last night for dinner we had a Chicken and Asparagus Salad from Spark and it was really yummy! It was chicken breast and then had a sauce of yogurt, curry, red pepper, cilantro, toasted almonds and then you mix that and serve it on top of fresh spinach. I couldn't believe how good it was. Tonight we made Pasta Italiano which was ground turkey, paprika, vegetable broth, crushed tomatoes, whole wheat pasta, brocolli and cauliflower. It too is very tasty. I'm amazed that i'm eating so well and so healthy and i'm satisfied and losing weight!!

Have to get in the shower, Junior and I are going to church tonight! Things are going well. I'm happy in the love department!

Ooh, I started my Sock Memories Shawl from Knit Picks today. Still doing the border, i'll post pics when the pattern starts showing thru. But i like working in another yarn and color.

January 10, 2006
quick post

Our friend Denise who was diagnosed with cancer less than 2 months ago is gravely ill and out of hospice and in the hospital. Her daughter called mom last night and said that she has 12-24 hours so we ran up there after dinner. We picked up another friend and went to see her. It's so sad, she looks so frail and truly just sick. A lot of crying from family and friends. I went in twice to see her, but left once because she needed to go potty and then i went in about half hour later and learned later that she passed out in bathroom and had blood coming from her nose and mouth. Dr. says she is bleeding internally and there's nothing they can do. We prayed with her, she won't let go of her rosary. I said goodbye, gave her a kiss, told her i loved her and to know that she is loved. Mom called this a.m. and was connected to her room, her son answered, she asked how she was and he said to hold on, and there was Denise on the phone...surprised me, but i hear sometimes that they get better before it gets worse. God be with her.

The xdbf (ex dear boyfriend, not ex drunk boyfriend{Julie!}) called the house again last night at 12:30. I knew something was wrong because he wasn't available all weekend. He tells me this convuluted story about being jumped, beat up, had his new car and phone and wallet and kids christmas toys stolen, been in the hospital, said he had punctured lungs... what to believe? And he gave me the wrong phone# of the pay phone to call him back but didn't call back last night. Then he calls me today, sounds totally out of it, telling me still about being beat up, blah, blah, and then says and supposedly his truck was in an accident with a semi, but he doesn't know about that?....i'm so sick of it. He's set up and suppose to go to rehab tomorrow...i told him to call them and ask if they can come get him now. I'm going to call a pastor who's helped me and him before and see what he thinks we or someone should do. I'm so sick of it. I care for him, but geez, how much am i suppose to do to help. Am i helping? Am i enabling? I'm sick of it. (Reading this i realize i've said it 3 times, but guess what....I'm sick of it). He's not my husband, he's not even my boyfriend.

Dainty Bess is almost done...maybe one more repeat of the pattern, the edging, bind off and then i have to figure out the best way to block it. It's getting done quick because i've been stressed and therefore i knit. I can't wait to show you.

I've had a few new people added to my map and i'm so pleased to meet new friends! I enjoy all your blogs. I've decided when i visit a blog i need to comment and that's what i've been doing and i'm meeting the neatest people! I also added a slider of my pics on the map, i think it's cool.

January 8, 2006

Looks like i spoke too soon....I spent most of the weekend with Junior. He send me this phone message with the Hall and Oates song, Baby Come Back, and that prompted me to talk to him, and then he wanted me to come over so we could talk this out, he wore me down and i wanted to go. I missed him. So he came to get me and we had a really nice weekend together. He does take care of me so well, when we are together. He took me to dinner Sat. night and that was nice. I'm optimistic, but a little upset still. Not about what happened, it's the small stuff that i'm letting get to me. But the good news is that we are on a new page, i feel good about that and going on from here, whatever happens.

Taking my brother out to dinner tonight courtesy of some cash that was sent to us so we could all go out and have a family dinner. That'll be nice. I'm doing well on the eating plan, even with going to dinner, but i think it has to be like that. You have to be able to go to a family dinner without feeling like you blew it. I'm going to go, make good choices and move on. I already ate well today by eating breakfast, but late, and then a snack about an hour or so ago because i knew we'd be out tonight. And according to Jr.'s scale this a.m. i have lost 3.5 lbs. this week!!!

Worked quite a bit on my Dainty Bess scarf, it's really beautiful! I love it! I'm knitting until the yarn runs out. And then blocking, something that intimidates me, but i have to do with lace knitting.

January 5, 2006
Dainty Bess

Here's a pic of my project so far on the Dainty Bess scarf.

I'm making it in this lovely yarn. In the color Autumn. It looks really orangey in the top pic, but it isn't, it's really pretty. I'm enjoying knitting it now after messing it up a couple times. I have to keep track of the rows. It's a rep of 20, but the pattern is such that you can get confused...or i was anyway. I got a lot knit today. It was a jammie day, i've been a little down today, let the cancelled interview get to me and just wanted to lay around today. I didn't, but i wanted to. I didn't get out of my jammies, or put my contacts in.

Day 2 on the meal plan went well, i wasn't so hungry, i was satisfied and i even had a glass of wine tonight! I drank my water today, i was perfectly on plan. Tomorrow i have to exercise. 30 minute walk and 30 minutes on the swiss ball, strength training. I hate it, but i have to do it. I can hardly wait to weigh in next Wednesday. I don't want to be jumping on the scale all the time, but sometimes i'm so curious. And then again, why do i put myself thru that? The number is not so important, the effort is and how i feel.

My heart hurts for those poor miners and their families in WV. Just tragic. The whole situation. And I think the billionaire owner of the mine, yes BILLIONAIRE, can and should kick down at least a million per family...my goodness.

January 4, 2006

This blog is suppose to be about knitting AND losing. As in weight... But it hasn't been about losing weight in quite a while. But that is going to change. On one of my yahoo groups someone mentioned Sparkspeople and so i went and signed up and wow oh wow...i can't believe this weightloss, health site and the fact that it is FREE! I signed my mom up too this a.m. and we're doing this together. We started our meal plan today. Hers is almost the same meal plan but she actually gets more calories, i think because of her age. It was a lot of food, but then i was really hungry today too, and i got this really killer headache today too. I'm sure it's from the change in diet and it's kind of drastic for me. But right now i feel really good. I'm full, the headache is kind of gone away and i'm really tired and looking forward to bed. This online plan figures out a meal plan tailored just for you. And you track your weight and exercise and goals. I'm just so amazed and thankful to have found it.

Junior is continuing to call and email me. I wish it could be different. And the xdbf is really trying to get it together. He's out of the house, got his own vehicle, signed the divorce papers, transferring money. Lot's going on, but he's starting to get it together. I'm almost optimistic that we may have a future. We'll see.

My interview for tomorrow was cancelled, he hired someone else, i was really, really bummed. I had such a good feeling about this job, and i guess i was wrong...

January 3, 2006
My wonderful SP6 Missy!

Way overdue but i have to thank my wonderful SP6 pal Missy!!! It was my first time as a secret pal giver or receiver. I wasn't a good giver i'm afraid. With all good intentions, i still haven't gotten my pal her present yet. I have it all, it's in my room, i'm just not a good SP. She sent me a note saying, no worries, maybe i'll make it by her birthday....which is in April.....OUCH!!!! I deserved it though. It's on my list for tomorrow and to the post office and also my Katrina cloths. ANYWAY....Missy. She's from the state I just moved from, i have roots there and lots of family. Well she was the best. She took time to get to know me, sent me cute emails, was so supportive and sweet. And just sent me really sweet and thoughtful things. Lookee what she sent...

She sent me this really sweet card, telling me a little more about her, some really cute Hello Kitty stuff, like a coin purse, a notepad and a stamper. A cute set of stitch markers (the pics aren't the greatest), 2 (I mean wow, 2 whole skeins) of Mal Abrigo yarn in this really lovely lavender, the color is just gorgeous. I'm going to find just the right project for the Mal Abrigo and it's going to be for ME!!! I'm thinking of making Fuzzy Feet with them? I don't know, it has to be perfect because the yarn is so beautiful! And then on top of that she was thoughtful enough to include 3 balls of cotton yarn for my Katrina project. Is she cool or what!!? Missy, it's been a pleasure and i hope we keep in touch, sweets. Thank you soooo much!

Well, Junior and I are not going to work it out. I told him yesterday. We talked Sunday night when i was at my friends house. She made a prime rib after all and we had a magnum of champagne so her husband decided i should stay the night and not be on the road, plus it was windy and raining so i did. Junior called and i talked to him and i thought we could maybe work on it, but then something else happened and there is no way i'm going to continue the relationship. It has to do with truth and honesty, it's a long story, but bottom line, my gut is saying....be careful, be wary, run.... I listen to my gut. It's sad, i am hurting, but it's right. There must be something else out there for me. And my friend has been calling and really taking care of me and being a very sweet and supportive friend. I thank God for her. And thank all of you for your kind comments, it is appreciated.

I've had to frog my lacy Dainty Bess scarf twice, the last time i ripped it all out and started over. Now i'm counting rows and marking it on a post-it, it's going better. And it's beautiful.

I'm tired, going to read.

January 1, 2006
New beginnings...

Today in our house is a day of not having to do anything. Except as per our tradition, for good luck, you must have fresh flowers in the house and/or eat black eyed peas. Have you ever heard of Hoppin' John? Here's some history about Hoppin' John. And here is our recipe which i have no idea where it came from.

Hoppin John

2 cups dry blackeye beans
6 cups water
1 lb. ham hocks
1 cup chopped onion
1/4 tsp. dried chili pepper
2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 cups rice
salt and pepper

Combine beans and water. Boil 2 minutes and let stand 1 hr. Add ham hocks, onion, dried pepper and salt. Cover and simmer 1 1/2 hours. Remove ham hock. Cut meat into small pieces. Drain beans, reserving liquid. Add water to reserved liquid to make 3 cups. Return beans, liquid, and ham to kettle. Add rice. Cover and simmer 20 minutes or until rice is tender and liquid is absorbed.

I had a pretty peaceful evening. I knit on my Dainty Bess scarf, which i love the alpaca yarn, it's yummy. We had a nice family dinner of steak, twice baked potatoes, green beans and mom made her bread pudding. I had some wine. Spoke to a friend in MN, spoke to the ex-bf, then my family toasted with some champagne and i spoke to the xbf again until 2 am. I had an earlier phone message from Junior where he apologized and said he wasn't going to call anymore and he broke down and cried and said that he was sorry he hurt me, and that he loved me. Huh, he never told me that before. It broke my heart that now he tells me. And i don't like the fact that he's feeling bad, but then i can't help that. I still can't talk to him.

I suppose i should get in the shower and out of these pajamas...